Meeting someone new is always an adventure. It is human nature that you want them to like you. So, immediately you start judging yourself and judging them to figure out if you want to spend time with getting to know them. You also are trying to decide if they would want to get to know you. If you decide they are cool enough, the game to win them over begins.
First you find out what they like- music, activities, food, habits, clothing, etc. Next you assess where you don’t fit into the personification they have presented to you. After that you start cutting off all of who you are that is too different so you will look and be what you think they want you to be based on what you think they are. Whew!!
Another way to look at it is-- here comes your new relationship driving up in their very little red car (their universe) and they say, “Hey, would you like to come play? Hop in!” You are so happy that someone wants to hangout with a wierdo like you that you excitedly run over to the teeny tiny car and try to hop in. Unfortunately, you don’t fit, but you say, “No problem, I can change!” So you cut off one leg and then the other. Then you find you are too broad for the seat, so you cut off your arms. now you fit! Off you go on a journey in this new relationship with only a portion of you intact. One day your relationship drops you off because you don’t resemble the person they were attracted to initially. There you are wondering who you are and how to find your joy again. You are a shell of your former self. Now what?
Does any of that sound familiar? What if you didn’t cut off the weird, magical awarenesses and quirkiness that makes you so wonderfully unique? What if you were so comfortable in your own skin and adored yourself for being all of that unapologetically? Would you care if someone didn’t like you? Probably not since you would be aware of how special you are and know that they were too stupid or self absorbed to notice. I mean, why would they want to change something they thought was beautiful and magical? They would love you just the way you are.
Shaman, Healer, Access Consciousness Facilitator