 This past month I took a time out for me. I simply listened to my body. I wasn’t having fun and was willing to see what else was possible. That old “nose to the grind stone” philosophy that I grew up with no longer keeps me in lockstep with the reference points of what I “should” be doing. By giving myself permission to do something different, not only did I come back with renewed enthusiasm, but something far more valuable. During my time off, I really dove into exploring me/energy/communion with all things. Turning up my awareness and potency has been a gift beyond this reality! Such experiences have no words. You just know you are more of you and less affected by everyone and everything else. The world is perceived in a different way and the way you participate in it is forever changed.
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 Do you find yourself looking to see what lights other people up? Have you become so accustomed to aligning with what everyone else likes or says is the right thing to do, that you aren’t sure what it is that you actually would like? Is your “light up” an ember, a flicker, or an inferno? When was the last time you allowed yourself the orgasmic joy of choosing something that made your whole body vibrate with excitement?
 Springtime is probably my favorite season, yet I require to experience all seasons in my life. I was born this month of April, perhaps that is why I resonate with the energies of spring so profoundly. The first 21 years of my life were spent on a ranch in the mountains of Colorado. Most of my adult life , as well. Winters were long and harsh, yet magical to a child. Then there were the first stirrings of spring!!! OMG! The first sign was a cement like crust on the several feet of snow that allowed us to run forever across the fields and sledding down the hills was kicked up to hyper speed!!! (At least to us kids it was) Then, the snow would start to drop, exposing the fence posts, then the top wire.
 Loss can come in many forms. A life, a lifestyle, freedom of choice, a place, relationships, purpose, and yourself to name a few. All can leave you with a sense of confusion or giving up when you can’t see your way through the unknown. Let’s explore what else is possible with all of this.
 Change is not always comfortable, Sometimes we even think of change as scary. When you are more adventurous, change is exciting! How many ways have you misidentified and misapplied your excitement as fear? Everything that is, will you uncreate and destroy it all? POC POD (Go to www.theclearingstatement.com for a detailed explanation of the Access® Clearing Statement by Dr. Dain Heer.) Do you remember being so excited to do something as a child and your mother or another adult warned you not to scared? That is where many of us got stuck with yuck around excitement.
 How many of you go into a wrongness when asked to be the gift of you? Gift?
I have a gift? How do I figure out what my gift is? Do I have one or more than one? It is pretty entertaining to think about all the ways I have looked for something outside of me to give me a clue. So what is the gift of you? What exactly does is look like? What do I have to do to know I am a gift? What if you are already being the gift of you and not acknowledging it? This year I invite you to let go of everywhere you are “doing” something to prove you are a good person, a religious person, or some other definition of what a gift is based on the reference points of this reality. I invite you to be more allowance and no judgement of you. What if every day you acknowledged something wonderful and amazing about you? Maybe it is just the way you are with your body, your family, animals, plants, the earth, or other people.  I was once told I had never known joy in this life. At first I was offended. I thought joy and happy were pretty much the same thing. Just turned up, right? The definition of joy from my rather old dictionary: the emotion of keen or lively pleasure arising from present or expected good. Outward rejoicing, festive gaiety.
That last part- outward rejoicing, festive gaiety- hmmmmmm that gave me pause. I remember as a child having that orgasmic joy of curiosity, excitement, anticipation, exploration and just genuine joy in seeing someone or something that lit me up. I also remember being told to calm down, be quiet, quit acting like a fool. Somewhere I misidentified joy as an inappropriate behavior that only foolish people indulged in. Does that sound familiar to any of you?  It seems like this time of year we are repeatedly reminded to be grateful for what we have. Sometimes I get tired of hearing about it. What if it wasn’t a once-a-year event? What if it was a way of being in the world- like breathing. No significance, just an acknowledgement of you and everything around you passing through your mind like a gentle whisper.
 How often through your life have you questioned or have other people denied the existence of ghosts? What do you know?
I grew up in a very old ranch house that had once been a stage stop and Indian Trading Post. This house was built in 1912 over the top of the original buildings. The original builders of our home sold it to my grandfather, who passed it onto my father.  What if there is a different possibility for overcoming depression and suicidal considerations? This is probably not going to be a discussion around Suicide that you have ever heard before. I get how depressing it is to have people go on and on about how wrong it is and all of the counseling possibilities there are. I personally never wanted to “air my dirty laundry”. I imagine I am not alone.
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